Raspunsul scurt este ca n-are cum sa nu suga atat timp cat cititorii si-o baga. Mai precis, nu poti sa fii glorios, cat timp audienta ta este inexistenta, cel putin la nivel cerebral. Sa privim un exemplu din hotnews.

Stirea care mi-a sarit in ochi pare sa fi aparut initial in Bild in Ianuarie. Dar nu despre cat e de veche sau noua e vorba – probabil e noua – ci despre cum e prezentata – si nu numai de hotnews, dar cam de toate cele. Ca de fapt hotnews nu face decat sa prezinte o "revista a presei". Zice hotnews:

"Bomba porno in familia regala", scriu suedezii revoltati pe bloguri. Multe persoane se intreaba cum poate un mostenitor la tronul Suediei sa-si aleaga drept companie o actrita porno, noteaza Click.

Ca Sofia Hellqvist este un “bikini model” care-a aparut si-ntr-un reality show, e mai greu de inteles din fragmentul de sus. Mai mult, exista o oarecare diferenta intre bikini model si actrita porno, dar daca cititorului nu-i pasa, de ce i-ar pasa redactorului?! Ca in Suedia prostitutia e o crima nu pentru prostituate, ci pentru clienti, e-o chestie care mie mi se pare interesanta, dar nu se potriveste cu stirea si nu-i ceva ce omul ar vrea sa afle. Pai cum, adica te duci la curve si tre’ sa le tratezi de la egal la egal si sa-ti fie tie frica sa nu fii prins? Pai ce fel de tara-i asta?

Ca Philip e un fel de oaie neagra a familiei de cand a fost devansat de sora-sa in linia mostenirii tronului Suediei, iar nu ni se spune. Ca oaia neagra e-nghitita de femeia-sarpe, stim din episodul SouthPark cu succubus-ul si Chef Isaac (vezi clipurile din sfarsitul listei din subsol). Din fericire, exista si tabloide britanice, care ofera mai mult de 3 cuvinte, cat si poza exei:

They have been flirting with each other since they first met 2008. But they have not become an item until now,' the friend said.

The Royal Palace refused to comment the romance. 'I have no comments', said Nina Eldh, Information Director at Sweden’s Royal Court. Sources claimed that the Royal Family is in shock. Miss Hellqvist’s CV is not what they expected of their potential daughter-in-law. As the only son of King Carl XVI Gustaf and Queen Silvia, the prince was the heir to the throne for a few months after he was born in 1979. But in 1980 the rules were changed and the principle of primogeniture was introduced.

His sister, Crown Princess Victoria is now heir.

'He comes across as the black sheep of the family,' a commentator on the Swedish Royal Family said yesterday. 'Now that he is no longer next in line to the throne, he does his own thing. He's a racing car driver and a bit of a wild child.'

Miss Hellqvist was a popular participant in Sweden’s version of notorious American reality show Paradise Hotel. The show, which was a huge hit in Sweden, consisted mainly of lies, fights, sex orgies and alcohol. Miss Hellqvist won viewers' support as he managed to kick the show’s most intriguing and hated woman out of the hotel.

Amu, sa fii print si-apoi sa ti se spuna ca s-au schimbat regulile, sorry, take a hike, e cam nasol. Poate d-aia a si rupt-o cu prietena lui de cateva decade, o PiaRista “executiva”. Probabil ea era mai educata si implicit, cf London School of Economics, are sanse de doua ori mai mari sa bea zilnic (femeile-educate). Asta cu atat mai mult cu cat sora-sa e bine-merci:

On 19 June, Crown Princess Victoria of Sweden will marry gym owner Daniel Westling in Stockholm. The wedding is expected to draw a TV audience of several hundred millions world wide and wlll be the biggest media event ever in Sweden. The big question now is whether the Crown Princess’ little brother will be allowed to bring his new love and make their romance official.

Printii ca printii, dar de unde pana unde-i Hellqvist “porn star”? Tot din Daily Mail aflam ca s-a sarutat cu Jena Jameson la o “conventie” in Las Vegas:

Miss Hellqvist’s walk on the wild side with porn star Jena Jameson is another example of her not-so-royal-style. 'We kissed and it was worth remembering. I did not think so much about how it felt but more about that I really did it. 'At the time I did not know how famous she is. But she was not bad. I think most people know that,' Miss Hellqvist told Swedish media. 'We were at a party in Las Vegas. She approached me and told me I was one of the cutest girls she had ever seen and I knew my boy friend back then liked her. We decided to take a picture when were making out. That was it,' Miss Hellqvist said.

Oare meseriile sunt contagioase si se transmit prin sarut? Daca da, de ce n-a inceput sa cante bine Britney dupa ce s-a sarutat cu Madonna? Eu totusi cred ca cea mai mare orgie este urmatoarea stire, prezentata in acelasi articol la sfarsit:

In Romania s-a vandut cel mai scump frigider! A costat 22.000 de euro. Cel mai scump produs electrocasnic vandut in 2009 este o combina frigorifica pentru care s-au platit 22.000 de euro. Aceasta este formata din trei corpuri, are un sertar special pentru branzeturi, o zona pentru fructe si legume, distribuitor de apa si cuburi de gheata si multe alte facilitati, noteaza Cancan.

Ce-am vrut sa spun, dar probabil n-am reusit? Ca presa nu poate fi mai valoroasa decat cititorii sai. Iar in Romania 53,5% dintre elevii cu o medie de varsta de 15 ani nu pot descifra un text in romaneste, cf unui studiu al comisiei de la Bruxelles. Evident, acestia nu sunt cititorii, dar dintre cei care pot citi, oare cati sunt capabili sa citeasca mai mult de doua articole zoso puse cap la cap intr-o saptamana?

Sources / More info: rev-press, bild-snake, Click-actrita-porno, dm-hellqvist, femeile-educate, bruxelles-analfabetii, succubus-south-park, succubus-veronica, yt-hellqvist