This having been started as a Romanian blog, I first wrote what to do in Amsterdam when you’re alive in Romanian, with a friend, as an exquisite corpse. Recently, I met yet another Dutch girl who gave me more than one smile, so in return, I figured I'd give the world the translated version.
Even though I haven't visited in years, my memories of Amsterdam are still fresh and I perfectly remember the day when I took the photo below.
As I’m writing this, the temperature here in Toronto has once again dropped below zero and it’s snowing (Ninge iar, Vine iarna, Cand ninge afara). And recently, I’ve met another delicious Dutch person and realized that I could not share my (our) top with her. Without further ado, here’s the translation, in all its surrealism (written by me and S, between Feb 7th and Feb 13th 2008, on Facebook or by email):
- Fill condoms with water and throw them on peaceful passer-by's heads
- Dance the samba in a gondola
- Get behind the window in the red district and stick our tongue out, naked, to those who come to watch
- Start arguing politics with French tourists
- Wear crazy hats
- Smoke hashish with feet dangling off the bridge over one of the channels
- Throw orange peel in the front-row audience at a live sex show until we can see the subtitles
- Go in the tulips market and eat the most beautiful
- Beg a hobo for weed
- Go to a 420 cafe and ask to play chess at a table
- Watch porn eating popcorn
- Smell the sunflower in Van Gogh’s paintings
- Feed the storks in the channels and try to grab their legs
- Eat mushrooms then go to the zoo
- Go to a reggae concert and give away "Don’t Copy That Floppy" insignia
- Fight windmills by blowing air on the blades and give each other a satisfied high five at the first breeze
- Try to sell a 5-year old non-working photo camera to an electronics store in Schiphol
- Hunt fish with a spike in the channels
The above were the originals, translated. I figured I should also add 2 more, to round it all up to 20:
- 19. Steal the famous, infectious Dutch smile from local women and sell it to McD.
- 20. Tango on the streets in Dutch wooden shoes.
I’ve had other stories told in the original article as well, but I’m not sure I want to share that with everyone.
What do you think: was the translation worth the time spent?
LE: Here's a more boring, British top of things to do.
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