Showing posts sorted by relevance for query understanding. Sort by date Show all posts

It's a sad day for Ioan Pop, his family, and Romanian Christian Orthodoxy in general, but on the bright side, the abused women are finally getting some closure and Ioan Pop won’t have a chance to repeat his weird brand of sexual religiosity. As usual, I am not content with only reporting on the news; I have a few other things to say.

The current culture clash about some Norwegian child welfare agency having seized a Romanian couple’s children over physical discipline and the ensuing protests coming mostly from religious groups has a recognizable background: it’s a rehashing of the century-old conservative vs liberal quarrel. I have respect and admiration for Norway and their altruistic, enlightened and generous foreign policy and foreign aid, but this case may be more than just that.

I’ve two heavy things on my mind right now, and unlike WhatsApp frustrations, I don't think I'll be able to balance them with some happier, care-free thoughts. The second part of the title was inspired by a comment left by Blegoo about a year ago.

Though inordinate, this childhood memory was quite far from being an extraordinary event, and as such, I wasn't going to write about it. But a recent, excellent article but this quasi-famous disciple of an even more famous philosopher caused me to reconsider and share this story with you.

In prima parte am inceput mai general, cu citate din Nietzsche si o lista iutub. Aici-sa zicem cu detalii si carti existentialiste si general-introductive.

The way I experience love, or at least what most people mean by it, is dumb and I haze it. I get jealous, obsessive, cheesy. This kind of love is not enjoyable for me, likely not for the other and I try to avoid it, yet this is the kind most girls I had dated in the past seemed to want.

As expected, we owe most of our understanding of love to the Greeks, who were collecting words to describe it. Some scholars prefer to talk about four kinds, others five, others seven and some go as high as thirty. Here are the most used Greek terms:

• Storge (family affection)
• Philia (brotherly love, co-workers, soldiers, shared goal)
• Eros (romance, passion, desire, sex, physical, strange)
• Agape (god-love – unconditional, self-sacrificing)
• Ludus (flirting, playful, euphoria, uncommitted, non-punctual, believable lies, lovefool)
• Pragma (mutually beneficial, enduring – e.g., marriage)
• Mania (obsessive or possessive; adolescence)
• Philautia (self-respect)

Hendrick^2 & Slapion-Foote^2 (1985) found (hsf-gdisa) that men were more likely to show the ludic type of love, while women were more likely to be storgic or pragmatic – though their research was done on undergrad students.

Purple haze all in my brain
Lately things don't seem the same
Actin' funny but I don't know why
'Scuse me while I kiss the sky

In his 1973 book (.CA, .UK, .FR, .DE, .IT, .ES), John Lee compared styles of love to the color wheel, basing them on the aforementioned Greek words.

Lee’s 6 Styles of Loving

• Three primary styles:
  1. Eros – Loving an ideal person
  2. Ludos – Love as a game
  3. Storge – Love as friendship
• Three secondary styles:
  1. Mania (Eros + Ludos) – Obsessive love
  2. Pragma (Ludos + Storge) – Realistic and practical love
  3. Agape (Eros + Storge) – Selfless love

Now that we have the basic vocabulary, we should also know that there are a few theories of love.

theories

In general, theories moved from a clinical standpoint to a more psychology and socially-based stance.

• Freud’s theory of love centered around the need for an “ego ideal”, which is the person one aspires to be, patterned after those whom one holds in great respect. (On Narcissism, Bourdieu-Lacan, Freud-Lacan)
• Maslow takes the view that only those at the top of his pyramid (self-actualized) are capable of love (Heylighen, Francis). 
• Reik conceptualized a more altruistic, agape type of love in Being love. (Amir, Mathes)
• Zick Rubin proposed that romantic love is based on three elements: attachment (the need to receive care, approval and physical contact), caring (valuing the other person’s needs and happiness as much as your own), intimacy (sharing of thoughts, desires etc). Based on questionnaires, he determined liking vs loving.
• Elaine Hatfield felt that compassionate love is characterized by mutual respect, attachment, affection and trust while passionate love is made of intense emotions, sexual attraction, anxiety and affection. According to her, passionate love is transitory, lasting 6-30 months and it arises when cultural expectations encourage falling in love, when the person meets your preconceived ideas of an ideal love, and when you experience heightened physiological arousal in the presence of the other person. It ideally leads to compassionate love.
• As psychology became more socially based, Sternberg’s (.CA, .UK, .FR, .DE, .IT, .ES) triangular theory of love emerged (not to be confused with Bizarre Love Triangle) and became dominant (w-triang). This theory, illustrated above, holds that “consummate love” is the most complete, as it involves Intimacy, Passion and Commitment. The other types of love involve a combination of only 2 or just one.

The Attachment Theory (w-att) is very important in psychology and it deals with patterns learned in early childhood and how they determine people’s response within relationships when hurt, separated from loved ones or perceiving a threat. Four different attachment classifications have been identified in children: secure attachment, anxious-ambivalent attachment, anxious-avoidant attachment, and disorganized attachment.

If you can imagine the central point of the triangular theory – consummate love – being elevated (through the power of love, of course) out of its planar complacency to a pyramidal vertex and what do you get? Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, of course! :)

Purple haze all around
Don't know if I'm comin' up or down
Am I happy or in misery?
Whatever it is, that girl put a spell on me

Purple haze is not to be confused with Purple Rain.

LE: Two things: I know about the "languages of love" and I think it's BS - the main idea being that most women prefer "words", while men, actions, so there goes that "theory" and secondly, Hendrix probably talks about love as an excuse for getting high with "illegal dreams" which is not my thing.

Sources / More info: inbo-jealous, w-4l, w-gw4l, w-triang, w-att, w-rolo, w-losty, hsf-gdisa

Saracan de mine, incepe festivalul si eu inca n-am reusit sa ma dumiresc la ce filme vreau sa merg. Bine ca s-a dumirit Romania ce film trimite la Oscarul 2011.

Am fost intrebat de unde vine titlul blogului si n-am raspuns, pentru ca raspunsul ar fi fost mult prea lung. Dar la un moment dat ceva, cumva trebuie sa ofer ca raspuns. Am decis sa-ncep c-un articol mai mult sau mai putin enciclopedic despre Nietzsche, Also Sprach Zarathustra si – intr-un viitor apropiat - Zamolxis.

Following Strelnikov’s suggestion and Max’ confirmation, I started listening to Balanescu Quartet. I liked it and thought that it’s worth an article. Which I started a few months ago and am completing today, especially since I have a few new/s (times).

When discussing history (as anything else), my primary source of “inspiration” is not Wikipedia but rather my own memory. I look up Wikipedia to find supporting evidence, however, as it can easily be accessed by anyone who’d want to verify or learn more. And in all this, the “go to figure” in my memories is the history teacher, Georgeasca.

I recently engaged with Krossfire in what could eventually become a debate and thought expanding upon that might be useful to a casual reader and purveyor of truthiness. Taking a break from my memories has suddenly become somewhat appropriate.

Not only did Klaus Iohannis manage to snatch victory from the claws of the Red Menace, but he did so by a huge, devastating margin AND on the surge in voter participation not only in the diaspora, but also in our birthplace. It’s a November Christmas miracle! 

I had a pact with a German friend to write the stories of our first time (not together, but rather the cherry-popping kind). She chickened out, and I, rather than publish my story unilaterally (which I might do in the end, quite possibly passworded), I've decided to tell you another one.

#WTA has recently confused #Romania anti-#corruption #rezist #protest with people coming out in the streets to welcome and congratulate Simona Halep in her recent Grand Slam triumph (gsp-tnr). It’s not only foreigners not getting what’s going on, but even some of those protesting.

Recent, Mary Roach a aparut la TED cu o noua prelegere. Si cum nu poti scrie niciodata prea mult despre sex, m-am gandit ca haide.

It is almost painful to discuss the election results, chiefly because nothing is unexpected, most voters see a completely different reality than I do (or, if you will, they see the same thing but interpret it differently) and there is no way I can ever bridge this gap. Not only that, but it's virtually impossible to do so, even if I tried. I gave up trying long ago.

I recently commented elsewhere on the sense of existence and even read a diaspora blog, and before I forget, I mirror here my thoughts for all the English-speaking world to marvel. If I were to summarize the teachings of this Zen piece, it’d be “survival implies constant self-deceit.”

Soros and at least one Koch started holding hands for a common purpose: they call it something else, but it’s really about ending America’s “world cop” legacy role. Far more important to Romanians, on the foremost blog in the SE Of europe (ran out of capitals), a guest author makes almost as many language mistakes as the owner but has more consistently enlightened viewpoints.

One other place I visited in my Remembrance Day voyage was the remnants of Swim School and Recreation Center, where I got hired for my first job in Canada.

Citeam recent ca unii au frica de moarte. Si nu e bine. Si invata de la Google ca totusi nu-i asa de rau. Si m-am uitat si eu, si-am gasit nu numai despre frica de moarte, dar si niste poezii soresciene.