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The way I experience love, or at least what most people mean by it, is dumb and I haze it. I get jealous, obsessive, cheesy. This kind of love is not enjoyable for me, likely not for the other and I try to avoid it, yet this is the kind most girls I had dated in the past seemed to want.

As expected, we owe most of our understanding of love to the Greeks, who were collecting words to describe it. Some scholars prefer to talk about four kinds, others five, others seven and some go as high as thirty. Here are the most used Greek terms:

• Storge (family affection)
• Philia (brotherly love, co-workers, soldiers, shared goal)
• Eros (romance, passion, desire, sex, physical, strange)
• Agape (god-love – unconditional, self-sacrificing)
• Ludus (flirting, playful, euphoria, uncommitted, non-punctual, believable lies, lovefool)
• Pragma (mutually beneficial, enduring – e.g., marriage)
• Mania (obsessive or possessive; adolescence)
• Philautia (self-respect)

Hendrick^2 & Slapion-Foote^2 (1985) found (hsf-gdisa) that men were more likely to show the ludic type of love, while women were more likely to be storgic or pragmatic – though their research was done on undergrad students.

Purple haze all in my brain
Lately things don't seem the same
Actin' funny but I don't know why
'Scuse me while I kiss the sky

In his 1973 book (.CA, .UK, .FR, .DE, .IT, .ES), John Lee compared styles of love to the color wheel, basing them on the aforementioned Greek words.

Lee’s 6 Styles of Loving

• Three primary styles:
  1. Eros – Loving an ideal person
  2. Ludos – Love as a game
  3. Storge – Love as friendship
• Three secondary styles:
  1. Mania (Eros + Ludos) – Obsessive love
  2. Pragma (Ludos + Storge) – Realistic and practical love
  3. Agape (Eros + Storge) – Selfless love

Now that we have the basic vocabulary, we should also know that there are a few theories of love.

theories

In general, theories moved from a clinical standpoint to a more psychology and socially-based stance.

• Freud’s theory of love centered around the need for an “ego ideal”, which is the person one aspires to be, patterned after those whom one holds in great respect. (On Narcissism, Bourdieu-Lacan, Freud-Lacan)
• Maslow takes the view that only those at the top of his pyramid (self-actualized) are capable of love (Heylighen, Francis). 
• Reik conceptualized a more altruistic, agape type of love in Being love. (Amir, Mathes)
• Zick Rubin proposed that romantic love is based on three elements: attachment (the need to receive care, approval and physical contact), caring (valuing the other person’s needs and happiness as much as your own), intimacy (sharing of thoughts, desires etc). Based on questionnaires, he determined liking vs loving.
• Elaine Hatfield felt that compassionate love is characterized by mutual respect, attachment, affection and trust while passionate love is made of intense emotions, sexual attraction, anxiety and affection. According to her, passionate love is transitory, lasting 6-30 months and it arises when cultural expectations encourage falling in love, when the person meets your preconceived ideas of an ideal love, and when you experience heightened physiological arousal in the presence of the other person. It ideally leads to compassionate love.
• As psychology became more socially based, Sternberg’s (.CA, .UK, .FR, .DE, .IT, .ES) triangular theory of love emerged (not to be confused with Bizarre Love Triangle) and became dominant (w-triang). This theory, illustrated above, holds that “consummate love” is the most complete, as it involves Intimacy, Passion and Commitment. The other types of love involve a combination of only 2 or just one.

The Attachment Theory (w-att) is very important in psychology and it deals with patterns learned in early childhood and how they determine people’s response within relationships when hurt, separated from loved ones or perceiving a threat. Four different attachment classifications have been identified in children: secure attachment, anxious-ambivalent attachment, anxious-avoidant attachment, and disorganized attachment.

If you can imagine the central point of the triangular theory – consummate love – being elevated (through the power of love, of course) out of its planar complacency to a pyramidal vertex and what do you get? Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, of course! :)

Purple haze all around
Don't know if I'm comin' up or down
Am I happy or in misery?
Whatever it is, that girl put a spell on me

Purple haze is not to be confused with Purple Rain.

LE: Two things: I know about the "languages of love" and I think it's BS - the main idea being that most women prefer "words", while men, actions, so there goes that "theory" and secondly, Hendrix probably talks about love as an excuse for getting high with "illegal dreams" which is not my thing.

Sources / More info: inbo-jealous, w-4l, w-gw4l, w-triang, w-att, w-rolo, w-losty, hsf-gdisa

Am fost intrebat de unde vine titlul blogului si n-am raspuns, pentru ca raspunsul ar fi fost mult prea lung. Dar la un moment dat ceva, cumva trebuie sa ofer ca raspuns. Am decis sa-ncep c-un articol mai mult sau mai putin enciclopedic despre Nietzsche, Also Sprach Zarathustra si – intr-un viitor apropiat - Zamolxis.

Cateodata  am chef sa ma uit la clipuri de muzica, dar nu orice. Cele mai tari, cele mai populare, cele mai vizionate si top of the charts nu ma reprezinta intotdeauna, nu-mi regasesc gusturile in ele. Iata de ce aceste 40-45 clipuri ma incanta – raman cu tine o vreme..

Much to my surprise, a movie featuring Elisabeth Hurley and filmed entirely partly in Romania has no review that I can find.

The current culture clash about some Norwegian child welfare agency having seized a Romanian couple’s children over physical discipline and the ensuing protests coming mostly from religious groups has a recognizable background: it’s a rehashing of the century-old conservative vs liberal quarrel. I have respect and admiration for Norway and their altruistic, enlightened and generous foreign policy and foreign aid, but this case may be more than just that.

About a week ago I watched a number of TV series and movies worth discussing. One of them was about the Brits and the war, and it is somehow connected, in my mind, to UKIP and Farage.

La secole distanta de Renastere si la o decada de la publicarea "Inteligentei Emotionale" a lui Goleman, putini dintre noi reusim sa avem un echilibru intre porniri si sentimente pe de o parte si ratiune de cealalta. Sunt convins chiar ca nu toata lumea intelege care-i diferenta.

There are two subjects that seem to dominate the Romanian public sphere (I would say blogo.ro-oaie, but that's defunct): the religion choice in schools and the New York Times Op-Ed on corruption in Romania. I’m very tempted to make a nice hot stew out of both, but I’ll try to keep each to its own article.

It’s been a while since we haven’t talked about poverty in Romania and solutions. A recent “debate” caused by an over-the-top article on not giving money to the poor gives us a chance to look at it again and also address our reticence with BDSM practices.

By the time this article is published, I might not be in a situation to reply to comments right away. Still, not long ago I had a(nother) conversation with Blegoo and, visiting his blog, I’ve found some interesting news I had missed. This led me, for a brief moment, to question my love for Netherlands.

I'm not sure how and why I ended up watching two movies in one evening, but I did. Maybe it was a need to procrastinate, maybe it was the "monster storm" that shut down New York and was raging outside.

Ever since I have decided to focus on English language blogs, I find every now and then news about Romania that beg to be commented. I never have enough time to do so, but today, as I read about the chewing gum thieves, I shall make an exception.

It has recently come to my attention that today is St Andrew's day and also Scotland National Day. Tomorrow is Romania's. Or, since it’s unlikely I’ll finish this article and publish it today, subtract one day from all the temporal adverbs above. We will also learn here who put the ‘X’ in XXX.

Azi e ziua patriei, dar cum ii spuneam lui Krossfire intr-un comentariu, prefer o zi rationala uneia nationale. Oricum, el explica tare bine cam tot ce-i de explicat, iar eu n-as putea decat sa repet urarea veche. Continui aici discutia emotie vs. logica, inceputa in prima parte cu Colbert si Adeveria.

I hesitated for one day before writing this article and telling you this story. Maybe that's cuz here in Canada we went back to regular time, "losing" one hour.

Au tot fo' publicate rezultatele cercetarii unei canadiene (femeie, nu geaca) si noi barbatii tot nu pricepem ce zice. Nici canadian(c)a, nici femeile in general. De multe ori avem impresia ca ele zic una si umezesc alta. Asa c-am invitat-o pe Meredith Chivers sa explice.

Am mai stat de vorba cu spammerul meu. Incep sa cred ca este un cretin atat de mare incat ar merita sa incerc sa scot eu bani de la el. Din pacate, nu am timp de asta, si-n plus as incalca legea. N-ar fi asta culmea, sa-mi faca RCMP-ul o vizita pentru asa ceva? :)

I am EXTATIC!!!! N-am auzit de ea inainte sa fi castigat premiul Nobel, cum n-auzisem nici de francezul care a castigat in 2008, dar cu cat citesc mai mult, cu atat ma excit mai tare! E musai s-mpartasesc ce aflu cu cei 2-3 oameni care ma citesc, poate iau si eu un Hertzer sau un BlogIdol. Voi incepe sa scriu acest ghid prin a face mai mult spatiu sub birou.

I recently engaged with Krossfire in what could eventually become a debate and thought expanding upon that might be useful to a casual reader and purveyor of truthiness. Taking a break from my memories has suddenly become somewhat appropriate.

Serena won and Simona lost, but this game is so much more than this result. In short it’s all a psychological thriller with some touches of physical endurance and skill, and Simona seems to have given up (video highlights: 4 min, 10 min, 34 min).