I recently wrote a poem for a poem for a friend who was seemingly fading away in the background. She had posted this self-accusatory and spelling-challenged photo and then went on and on commenting some stupid blog.
In fiecare dimineata
cand ma trezesc,
iau o felie de catastrofa
prajita
cu o ceasca proaspata de haos.
Catastrofa e crocanta
Si le las pe cele doua
sa-mi mangaie cerul gurii
imbratisandu-se tandru
numai pentru a fi topite
si descompuse in lipide simple
de saliva.
Strigoiul efemeridelor
coboara spre buric
pe dinauntru
aproape ca-i pot vedea traiectoria
si se transforma in
ovare stilate
de cea mai galopanta
fertilitate.
* * *
Incep apoi sa decid cu ce ma imbrac.
Much like “Semn de Carte”, I wrote this in a few minutes.
Like everyone mostly, I do include little poems in most of my daily messages.
Friend: Ok, maybe we could meet a little earlier in that area and then in from there 11:52 AM
Friend: Go from there. My phone always mixes up go and in 12:00 PM
Me: I thought it's a Freudian slip. Alright, why don't we meet at 9 then? That's when doors open, but I don't think that the show will start right away. 12:15 PM
Friend: Sounds like a plan, stan. Just send me the address when you can 12:19 PM
Friend: I figure this event requires purchase of a ticket. Shall i buy them for us? 12:25 PM
Me: Sure thing Mary-Ann. fb Wouldn't you rather meet in a van? It's a bold plan, But with our short lifespan, To waste time we can? 12:26 PM
Friend: Uh. Ya. I'll buy tickets. 12:26 PM
Friend: Ok, now you owe me drinks for the evening, a respectable dinner and a respectable massage, the dates for the latter two to- be-determined. 12:40 PM
Why publish it here? For comparison purposes: I’m curious to determine which poem is better.
Today’s “poem” was written directly in English, for an unhappy friend who may have been approaching a breakdown. It reached its goal, as it took her mind off her problems and obsessions and made her happier, if only temporary. The other one, in Romanian, took a few more minutes as it rhymes, but it didn’t really have a purpose other than fun.
For a good comparison, both should be in the same language, which is why I translated the one above in Romanian. The one that rhymes would be too much of a PITA to translate into English, so I won’t even bother – sorry!
It’s hard to compare, but I’m curious: which one do you think is better, using whichever criterion strikes your fancy?
Sources / More info: tum-cat,
),
cultura (),
ea / el (),
me-myself-and-i ()
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