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Imi place Google, chiar daca mi-au suspendat contul AdSense fara explicatie, ca apoi sa mi-l reinstaureze fara sa-si ceara scuze. Probabil ca mi-ar place si mai mult dac-as fi cumparat stock la IPO, dar mi s-a parut overpriced si am asteptat o corectie... care nu a mai venit. But it's all good.

Azi noapte a avut loc un cutremur in apropierea Romei. N-as scrie despre asta, dar am trimis o corespondenta-n Roma. Si chiar daca ea nu-mi trimite corespondente spre publicare, am totusi o responsabilitate legala, duty of care cum se zice.

Our favorite former SF author, CTP, is back with another seemingly antiziganist or racist controversy, again on former PM and current PSD candidate for president, Dancila. He made fun of her family name etymology (likely Romani or Gypsy) and an anti-discrimination group / person entered the fray.

It is almost painful to discuss the election results, chiefly because nothing is unexpected, most voters see a completely different reality than I do (or, if you will, they see the same thing but interpret it differently) and there is no way I can ever bridge this gap. Not only that, but it's virtually impossible to do so, even if I tried. I gave up trying long ago.

The way I experience love, or at least what most people mean by it, is dumb and I haze it. I get jealous, obsessive, cheesy. This kind of love is not enjoyable for me, likely not for the other and I try to avoid it, yet this is the kind most girls I had dated in the past seemed to want.

As expected, we owe most of our understanding of love to the Greeks, who were collecting words to describe it. Some scholars prefer to talk about four kinds, others five, others seven and some go as high as thirty. Here are the most used Greek terms:

• Storge (family affection)
• Philia (brotherly love, co-workers, soldiers, shared goal)
• Eros (romance, passion, desire, sex, physical, strange)
• Agape (god-love – unconditional, self-sacrificing)
• Ludus (flirting, playful, euphoria, uncommitted, non-punctual, believable lies, lovefool)
• Pragma (mutually beneficial, enduring – e.g., marriage)
• Mania (obsessive or possessive; adolescence)
• Philautia (self-respect)

Hendrick^2 & Slapion-Foote^2 (1985) found (hsf-gdisa) that men were more likely to show the ludic type of love, while women were more likely to be storgic or pragmatic – though their research was done on undergrad students.

Purple haze all in my brain
Lately things don't seem the same
Actin' funny but I don't know why
'Scuse me while I kiss the sky

In his 1973 book (.CA, .UK, .FR, .DE, .IT, .ES), John Lee compared styles of love to the color wheel, basing them on the aforementioned Greek words.

Lee’s 6 Styles of Loving

• Three primary styles:
  1. Eros – Loving an ideal person
  2. Ludos – Love as a game
  3. Storge – Love as friendship
• Three secondary styles:
  1. Mania (Eros + Ludos) – Obsessive love
  2. Pragma (Ludos + Storge) – Realistic and practical love
  3. Agape (Eros + Storge) – Selfless love

Now that we have the basic vocabulary, we should also know that there are a few theories of love.

theories

In general, theories moved from a clinical standpoint to a more psychology and socially-based stance.

• Freud’s theory of love centered around the need for an “ego ideal”, which is the person one aspires to be, patterned after those whom one holds in great respect. (On Narcissism, Bourdieu-Lacan, Freud-Lacan)
• Maslow takes the view that only those at the top of his pyramid (self-actualized) are capable of love (Heylighen, Francis). 
• Reik conceptualized a more altruistic, agape type of love in Being love. (Amir, Mathes)
• Zick Rubin proposed that romantic love is based on three elements: attachment (the need to receive care, approval and physical contact), caring (valuing the other person’s needs and happiness as much as your own), intimacy (sharing of thoughts, desires etc). Based on questionnaires, he determined liking vs loving.
• Elaine Hatfield felt that compassionate love is characterized by mutual respect, attachment, affection and trust while passionate love is made of intense emotions, sexual attraction, anxiety and affection. According to her, passionate love is transitory, lasting 6-30 months and it arises when cultural expectations encourage falling in love, when the person meets your preconceived ideas of an ideal love, and when you experience heightened physiological arousal in the presence of the other person. It ideally leads to compassionate love.
• As psychology became more socially based, Sternberg’s (.CA, .UK, .FR, .DE, .IT, .ES) triangular theory of love emerged (not to be confused with Bizarre Love Triangle) and became dominant (w-triang). This theory, illustrated above, holds that “consummate love” is the most complete, as it involves Intimacy, Passion and Commitment. The other types of love involve a combination of only 2 or just one.

The Attachment Theory (w-att) is very important in psychology and it deals with patterns learned in early childhood and how they determine people’s response within relationships when hurt, separated from loved ones or perceiving a threat. Four different attachment classifications have been identified in children: secure attachment, anxious-ambivalent attachment, anxious-avoidant attachment, and disorganized attachment.

If you can imagine the central point of the triangular theory – consummate love – being elevated (through the power of love, of course) out of its planar complacency to a pyramidal vertex and what do you get? Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, of course! :)

Purple haze all around
Don't know if I'm comin' up or down
Am I happy or in misery?
Whatever it is, that girl put a spell on me

Purple haze is not to be confused with Purple Rain.

LE: Two things: I know about the "languages of love" and I think it's BS - the main idea being that most women prefer "words", while men, actions, so there goes that "theory" and secondly, Hendrix probably talks about love as an excuse for getting high with "illegal dreams" which is not my thing.

Sources / More info: inbo-jealous, w-4l, w-gw4l, w-triang, w-att, w-rolo, w-losty, hsf-gdisa

Cum am mai spus, nu sunt foarte multumit de nivelul dezbaterilor din blogo.ro-oaie. De multe ori, dezbateri care incep bine se termina prost sau nu se termina deloc. Ce sfaturi ar putea fi oferite celor care vor sa castige cu orice pret?

De ziua tatilor, m-am gandit sa fac o lista de clipuri muzicale cu, despre, de si pentru tati. Ar fi indicat sa incep poate cu melodia Timpuri Noi, dar l-am pus cand abia aparuse intr-un articol separat...

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Am descoperit recent un joc care mi-a placut. Si m-am gandit sa-l impart cu oamenii care-mi plac!

I have two votes coming up - one for Toronto, Canada (Oct 27), two for Romania (Nov 2, 16). And as usual, I will make a serious effort to vote - I won't wait in line 10 hours, for instance, but I will give it a couple of hours of my time. I thought I go through the possible candidates for election and why I (mostly) won't vote for them.

Having recently come back from a trip to Calgary, a friend of mine was showing me beautiful photos of a snowy mountain, with real pine forests covered by snow, which all conjured up in my mind the image of the ski camp where I used to spend all of my winter holiday, and more, all throughout my school years in Romania.

Another article (after Sevil) that does not give me any particular pleasure but must be, nonetheless, written is on Kovesi and the ethics of her thesis. More specifically, how things we said about Ponta’s should apply to Kovesi’s as well, yet few of us have the courage to maintain that kind of consistency in our own convictions, let alone demanding that Kovesi does in hers.

Iau o noua pauza de la interviul cu diaspodiana ca sa discut si sa rescriu o reclama. E un fel de pauza antipublicitara. Anticonsumerista sau antipauza? Vezi.

I haven’t quite followed the morbidly insane “family coalition” initiative (w-coalitia), in all its pathology, but I recently discovered how some UniBuc prof has been using everything, including the Hamangia / Cernavoda sculptures for his fascist crusade against gays. And likely, from the same deep vein of christo-fascism, the nebulous coalition has managed (or is about) to pass a law to stick more Christianity into people’s faces under the guise of celebrating Brancoveanu Constantin, boier vechi si domn crestin (old boyar and Christian voivode).

Duolingo (invite) sent me a new report placing me in top 1% users, which is a great opportunity to once again look at Romanian radio drama or theatre or teatru radiofonic. Traducere in romana in curand pe pagina de fatacarte Zamolxis.

My resolve to stop speaking about the difference between Roma / Gypsies and Romanians was recently shaken by an Irish couple, one of whom had a Roma sister adopted from Romania.

Extreme division in the public opinion is not new and is not common only to Romania. What is special about our situation is how ludicrous and paranoid their claims are. In this article commenced long ago, we look at how “tunnel vision” and “excessive focus” ruins politics, and implicitly, electorates who fail to censor the politicians who succumb to it.

Este interesant de vazut cat de repede se raspandeste o stire in blogosfera romaneasca. La ora scrierii acestui articol, Google Blogsearch listeaza 7 pagini de rezultate despre Cuil.com si pana cand citesti tu, vor sari de zece. Un prilej excelent sa ne uitam la motoarele de cautare si cum au evoluat.

I am EXTATIC!!!! N-am auzit de ea inainte sa fi castigat premiul Nobel, cum n-auzisem nici de francezul care a castigat in 2008, dar cu cat citesc mai mult, cu atat ma excit mai tare! E musai s-mpartasesc ce aflu cu cei 2-3 oameni care ma citesc, poate iau si eu un Hertzer sau un BlogIdol. Voi incepe sa scriu acest ghid prin a face mai mult spatiu sub birou.

Am poposit recent pe pagina unui blog negru, prezentand viata in gri prin intermediul unui batran cu tatuaje violete ce se plimba aproape gol, intelept si decorat pe strada. Mi-am amintit de Arclantida si-nceputul sau. Si-apoi am terminat de tradus Halebarda lui Sorescu.