Showing posts sorted by relevance for query happiness. Sort by date Show all posts

Ce poate fi mai existential decat aceste doua subiecte? Tratarea lor in doua filme superbe, filme care mi-au marcat dezvoltarea psiho-sexuala.

I recently commented elsewhere on the sense of existence and even read a diaspora blog, and before I forget, I mirror here my thoughts for all the English-speaking world to marvel. If I were to summarize the teachings of this Zen piece, it’d be “survival implies constant self-deceit.”

Exista multi oameni care-i urasc pe masoni si (franc)masoneria. Daca-i intrebi de ce, nu prea stiu sa-ti spuna, dar dupa o conversatie mai mult sau mai putin indelungata, reiese ca-i din cauza ca nu stiu multe despre ei.

I have recently attended the “space” / poetry / jamming session I mentioned earlier and predictably, I chose to read a poem by Marin Sorescu. I thought I present it here as well.

The way I experience love, or at least what most people mean by it, is dumb and I haze it. I get jealous, obsessive, cheesy. This kind of love is not enjoyable for me, likely not for the other and I try to avoid it, yet this is the kind most girls I had dated in the past seemed to want.

As expected, we owe most of our understanding of love to the Greeks, who were collecting words to describe it. Some scholars prefer to talk about four kinds, others five, others seven and some go as high as thirty. Here are the most used Greek terms:

• Storge (family affection)
• Philia (brotherly love, co-workers, soldiers, shared goal)
• Eros (romance, passion, desire, sex, physical, strange)
• Agape (god-love – unconditional, self-sacrificing)
• Ludus (flirting, playful, euphoria, uncommitted, non-punctual, believable lies, lovefool)
• Pragma (mutually beneficial, enduring – e.g., marriage)
• Mania (obsessive or possessive; adolescence)
• Philautia (self-respect)

Hendrick^2 & Slapion-Foote^2 (1985) found (hsf-gdisa) that men were more likely to show the ludic type of love, while women were more likely to be storgic or pragmatic – though their research was done on undergrad students.

Purple haze all in my brain
Lately things don't seem the same
Actin' funny but I don't know why
'Scuse me while I kiss the sky

In his 1973 book (.CA, .UK, .FR, .DE, .IT, .ES), John Lee compared styles of love to the color wheel, basing them on the aforementioned Greek words.

Lee’s 6 Styles of Loving

• Three primary styles:
  1. Eros – Loving an ideal person
  2. Ludos – Love as a game
  3. Storge – Love as friendship
• Three secondary styles:
  1. Mania (Eros + Ludos) – Obsessive love
  2. Pragma (Ludos + Storge) – Realistic and practical love
  3. Agape (Eros + Storge) – Selfless love

Now that we have the basic vocabulary, we should also know that there are a few theories of love.

theories

In general, theories moved from a clinical standpoint to a more psychology and socially-based stance.

• Freud’s theory of love centered around the need for an “ego ideal”, which is the person one aspires to be, patterned after those whom one holds in great respect. (On Narcissism, Bourdieu-Lacan, Freud-Lacan)
• Maslow takes the view that only those at the top of his pyramid (self-actualized) are capable of love (Heylighen, Francis). 
• Reik conceptualized a more altruistic, agape type of love in Being love. (Amir, Mathes)
• Zick Rubin proposed that romantic love is based on three elements: attachment (the need to receive care, approval and physical contact), caring (valuing the other person’s needs and happiness as much as your own), intimacy (sharing of thoughts, desires etc). Based on questionnaires, he determined liking vs loving.
• Elaine Hatfield felt that compassionate love is characterized by mutual respect, attachment, affection and trust while passionate love is made of intense emotions, sexual attraction, anxiety and affection. According to her, passionate love is transitory, lasting 6-30 months and it arises when cultural expectations encourage falling in love, when the person meets your preconceived ideas of an ideal love, and when you experience heightened physiological arousal in the presence of the other person. It ideally leads to compassionate love.
• As psychology became more socially based, Sternberg’s (.CA, .UK, .FR, .DE, .IT, .ES) triangular theory of love emerged (not to be confused with Bizarre Love Triangle) and became dominant (w-triang). This theory, illustrated above, holds that “consummate love” is the most complete, as it involves Intimacy, Passion and Commitment. The other types of love involve a combination of only 2 or just one.

The Attachment Theory (w-att) is very important in psychology and it deals with patterns learned in early childhood and how they determine people’s response within relationships when hurt, separated from loved ones or perceiving a threat. Four different attachment classifications have been identified in children: secure attachment, anxious-ambivalent attachment, anxious-avoidant attachment, and disorganized attachment.

If you can imagine the central point of the triangular theory – consummate love – being elevated (through the power of love, of course) out of its planar complacency to a pyramidal vertex and what do you get? Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, of course! :)

Purple haze all around
Don't know if I'm comin' up or down
Am I happy or in misery?
Whatever it is, that girl put a spell on me

Purple haze is not to be confused with Purple Rain.

LE: Two things: I know about the "languages of love" and I think it's BS - the main idea being that most women prefer "words", while men, actions, so there goes that "theory" and secondly, Hendrix probably talks about love as an excuse for getting high with "illegal dreams" which is not my thing.

Sources / More info: inbo-jealous, w-4l, w-gw4l, w-triang, w-att, w-rolo, w-losty, hsf-gdisa

Nu stiu daca stii, dar Gallup a scos un top al fericirii ieri. Canada se afla pe locul 2, dupa Danemarca, la egalitate cu Suedia. Ghici unde-i Romania?

Being a dreamer has its perks, such as happiness and fun. Making money first is a tad more difficult, but it results in a better match, later on, with the aforementioned two desiderates. And since one of the most important conferences for entrepreneurs and business people will take place December 10-11, it's worth taking a look at who we'd like to see there.

Cineva vroia sa stie ce s-a-ntamplat cu Kiwi. Asa ca m-am gandit sa dau cateva date despre autorul animatiei, ce se-ntampla la sfarsit, si ce-i cu pasarea Kiwi – de unde vine, cum se gateste, etc.

Nu demult, ma plangeam ca am un cantec in minte pe care nu-l pot identifica. Dar l-am auzit intr-un film mai vechi, si-am stat la credits sa-i vad titlul. Nu, filmul nu era "Zbor deasupra unui cuib de cuci" :)

Christmas is a time of forced happiness, unmet expectations - i.e., looking forward to spend some time with your family, only to end up annoyed by the same things that caused you to move out as quickly as you could if your parents are alive, or feeling unappreciated by those ungrateful earthlings if you are a parent yourself. No wonder so many of us have started to take the Festivus joke seriously!

Anumite discutii din ultima vreme, vremea de rahat de-afara, certuri cu un prieten, si-alte alea m-au cufundat intr-o stare cam proasta. Dac-as fi pictor, s-ar chema "perioada albastra".

Extreme division in the public opinion is not new and is not common only to Romania. What is special about our situation is how ludicrous and paranoid their claims are. In this article commenced long ago, we look at how “tunnel vision” and “excessive focus” ruins politics, and implicitly, electorates who fail to censor the politicians who succumb to it.

In trying to answer the map question, it might be a good idea to stat with some Dacian history. Presumably, after Trajan conquered Dacia, the men were massacred or enslaved and the Dacian state including its capital, Sarmizegetusa, obliterated then rebuilt in Roman fashion.

Am fost intrebat de unde vine titlul blogului si n-am raspuns, pentru ca raspunsul ar fi fost mult prea lung. Dar la un moment dat ceva, cumva trebuie sa ofer ca raspuns. Am decis sa-ncep c-un articol mai mult sau mai putin enciclopedic despre Nietzsche, Also Sprach Zarathustra si – intr-un viitor apropiat - Zamolxis.

We've met in a crowded room and her smile (or was it her ROTFL?) temporarily blinded me. I don't know why I find her so ubercool - maybe it's cuz I met her in the middle of winter and she’s such an all-around solar experience.

I hesitated for one day before writing this article and telling you this story. Maybe that's cuz here in Canada we went back to regular time, "losing" one hour.

Azi am primit un spam interesant. Si mi-am amintit de spammer-ul meu (I, II), pe care l-am cam neglijat in ultima vreme. N-am mai intrat pe mess nici pentru prieteni, d-apai pentru un cretin nigerian?!? Mai jos este ce-am mai facut cu el, si spam-ul de la o "rusoaica". Spam-ul rusoaicai este insotit de 2 poze foarte michteaux, da' nu le public ca par un pic underage..

I am EXTATIC!!!! N-am auzit de ea inainte sa fi castigat premiul Nobel, cum n-auzisem nici de francezul care a castigat in 2008, dar cu cat citesc mai mult, cu atat ma excit mai tare! E musai s-mpartasesc ce aflu cu cei 2-3 oameni care ma citesc, poate iau si eu un Hertzer sau un BlogIdol. Voi incepe sa scriu acest ghid prin a face mai mult spatiu sub birou.