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As shown in results, in the runoff, Romanians will get to choose between Iohannis and Ponta. I wrote extensively about Ponta (dottore, virgin suicides, beligan-ponta, greatest plagiarizer, plai cu plagiat, roi rouge, geoana, partisanship, nastase), so before I tell you why I'm voting Ponta, I'll take a look at who is Iohannis.

Not only did Klaus Iohannis manage to snatch victory from the claws of the Red Menace, but he did so by a huge, devastating margin AND on the surge in voter participation not only in the diaspora, but also in our birthplace. It’s a November Christmas miracle! 

When it comes to presidents, I prefer them quiet and subdued, but when I look back, I kept voting for the loud ones. I’m much like a woman who claims she’s looking for good guys but constantly ends up with bad boys. I’m not the only one, judging by the recent results of US elections. So I’m hurrying to finish this article, in a McDonald’s with non-working Wi-Fi, fueled by their free coffee promotion with only 30 minutes left to go. 

My reservations notwithstanding, I suspect most of the people who voted for Iohannis do not really know who he is, apart from the fact that he is not Ponta. I'm trying to bring a bit more color and background to his wooden personality.

I noticed recently how the mere mention of Birchall, in a positive manner, by President Iohannis, has caused backlash in PSD and there is even talk of excluding her from that rapidly disintegrating party. One could say that he likes her, but is he just mouthing it? To me, this is symbolic of PNL encroaching in PSD’s home turf and, in some instances, replacing it.

There’s a new kid with his bum closely fitting Dragnea’s hand and his name is Sorin Grindeanu. Iohannis accepted him and that has made him Prime Minister. How is he better than our odalisque, I don’t know – seriously, wouldn’t she have been much better?

After #yeslavot let’s see who won and why..

I have an almost Pavlovian reflex when it comes to inconsistent or illogical patterns. I've built-in expectation for things to turn out as they should, and when they don't, as it is often the case in life, alarm bells sound.

If you follow Romanian news, you mustn’t have missed how Victor Ponta, the current Romanian prime-minister, leader of the most popular (and also crypto-communist) PSD party and the most likely winner of the upcoming presidential race, launched his candidacy, on his birthday, on a stadium.

There is open season on Viorica Dancila, the losing presidential candidate from PSD and former prime-minister of Romania. Today, Monday, she has even renounced the leadership of Socialist PSD, until not long ago the main Romanian party. For a contrarian such as myself, this is the perfect moment to announce my undying love for this misunderstood and not very presentable "prezidentiable".

A recent “viral” video clip shows the Romanian president, Klaus Iohannis, moving the Union Jack (the UK flag), out of the way as he talks to reporters. This act of “elimination” is probably the least interesting of the ones discussed herein.

Predictably, the fire at the Colectiv nightclub in Bucharest has resulted in calls for moar regulation! and a search for the culprits. Interior Minister Oprea can breathe now that the media is no longer focusing on his killing of a policeman through unnecessary, elitist motorcades. Let me explain why the requests for more regulation are misguided.

It seems as if every new PSD government has to go through a baptism of fire. The latest such event has luckily resulted in no deaths. One of the club founders (or former co-owners) is Catalin Botezatu, which translated word-by-word is Baptized, Cat.

Some recent Romanian news led me to consider the possibility that many Romanian men suffer from an undiagnosed affliction: Uterus envy. Let us together discover what that means, and how this was already named “womb envy” by a psychoanalyst named HORNEY.

Sriracha is a 'sauce piquante', SRI is the Romanian Secret Service, fall is autumn, and in Romanian "picant" could also be derived from 'to fall' which is 'a pica.' We look at the consecutive declarations of Romania’s president, an allied journalist and finally, the candidacies of other president-hopefuls, from the head of the Romanian Secret Service, Melescanu and to the former Justice Minister, Macovei. But most of all, the title is a tip of the hat to Vlad Petreanu and his excellent expose, with a title that translates roughly as “The [secret] Services Autumn.”

Though it may be unfair to extend the failure of the Romanian National Press Agency (Agerpres) and the Romanian External Affairs Ministry to an entire nation, let us not forget that part of their job is to represent the country. The recent faux-pas, confusing the French contours with the German one in a one-print commemorative brochure is, unfortunately, indicative of the dilettantism that has taken over the Romanian government.

In my previous election adventures, I have relied heavily on the 'testvote' application and even shared and commented my results with you, my readers. I was planning to do the same this time, then I noticed something peculiar: all the candidates have virtually the same position! Upon further investigating, it appeared that either the application has been updated in the meantime or there was an error due to poor Internet connectivity and bad coding.

Era un baiat care lua beutura “agitata, nu amestecata”. La noi, sinuciderile vanatorilor se fac cu mana gresita, iar braconajul intelectual tot cu mana altuia.