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Am scris recent un articol despre primul meu sarut - mai bine-zis, am publicat un eseu scris acum cativa ani pentru un curs de franceza. Daca in prima parte am descris primul meu sarut in franceza (fara sa fi fost French Kiss :), aici descriu un studiu si dau cateva sfaturi.

The name would be longer, but I’m running out of space and patience. I don’t care much about MihaElan (yes, she lost the “n” but kept the “Schwartzenberg”) MRRR née Tiganu and yet the scandals she so often gets into have a dimension that has not really been explored in Romania, a dimension I find very interesting: women seem to be far more interested in her (both accusing and defending) than men. Why would that be? The other thing that irks me is censorship – something we should all fight foragainst, whether it comes from Mihaela Radulescu or from her post-op model Zoso. 

We've met in a crowded room and her smile (or was it her ROTFL?) temporarily blinded me. I don't know why I find her so ubercool - maybe it's cuz I met her in the middle of winter and she’s such an all-around solar experience.

Miruna scrie in omuletii ei despre un eseu jurnalistic (1, 2). E vorba de primul ei sarut si un eseu excelent, foarte bine scris. M-am gandit sa scriu si eu de-al meu un alt articol urias, pentru ca ce poate fi mai frumos decat sa ne intrecem in povesti despre saruturi. Se lasa cu leapsa?

Incepusem sa discut in articolul precedent etica muncii. Dar mai am ceva de zis, si-anume amintirile muzicale din anii '90.

The way I experience love, or at least what most people mean by it, is dumb and I haze it. I get jealous, obsessive, cheesy. This kind of love is not enjoyable for me, likely not for the other and I try to avoid it, yet this is the kind most girls I had dated in the past seemed to want.

As expected, we owe most of our understanding of love to the Greeks, who were collecting words to describe it. Some scholars prefer to talk about four kinds, others five, others seven and some go as high as thirty. Here are the most used Greek terms:

• Storge (family affection)
• Philia (brotherly love, co-workers, soldiers, shared goal)
• Eros (romance, passion, desire, sex, physical, strange)
• Agape (god-love – unconditional, self-sacrificing)
• Ludus (flirting, playful, euphoria, uncommitted, non-punctual, believable lies, lovefool)
• Pragma (mutually beneficial, enduring – e.g., marriage)
• Mania (obsessive or possessive; adolescence)
• Philautia (self-respect)

Hendrick^2 & Slapion-Foote^2 (1985) found (hsf-gdisa) that men were more likely to show the ludic type of love, while women were more likely to be storgic or pragmatic – though their research was done on undergrad students.

Purple haze all in my brain
Lately things don't seem the same
Actin' funny but I don't know why
'Scuse me while I kiss the sky

In his 1973 book (.CA, .UK, .FR, .DE, .IT, .ES), John Lee compared styles of love to the color wheel, basing them on the aforementioned Greek words.

Lee’s 6 Styles of Loving

• Three primary styles:
  1. Eros – Loving an ideal person
  2. Ludos – Love as a game
  3. Storge – Love as friendship
• Three secondary styles:
  1. Mania (Eros + Ludos) – Obsessive love
  2. Pragma (Ludos + Storge) – Realistic and practical love
  3. Agape (Eros + Storge) – Selfless love

Now that we have the basic vocabulary, we should also know that there are a few theories of love.

theories

In general, theories moved from a clinical standpoint to a more psychology and socially-based stance.

• Freud’s theory of love centered around the need for an “ego ideal”, which is the person one aspires to be, patterned after those whom one holds in great respect. (On Narcissism, Bourdieu-Lacan, Freud-Lacan)
• Maslow takes the view that only those at the top of his pyramid (self-actualized) are capable of love (Heylighen, Francis). 
• Reik conceptualized a more altruistic, agape type of love in Being love. (Amir, Mathes)
• Zick Rubin proposed that romantic love is based on three elements: attachment (the need to receive care, approval and physical contact), caring (valuing the other person’s needs and happiness as much as your own), intimacy (sharing of thoughts, desires etc). Based on questionnaires, he determined liking vs loving.
• Elaine Hatfield felt that compassionate love is characterized by mutual respect, attachment, affection and trust while passionate love is made of intense emotions, sexual attraction, anxiety and affection. According to her, passionate love is transitory, lasting 6-30 months and it arises when cultural expectations encourage falling in love, when the person meets your preconceived ideas of an ideal love, and when you experience heightened physiological arousal in the presence of the other person. It ideally leads to compassionate love.
• As psychology became more socially based, Sternberg’s (.CA, .UK, .FR, .DE, .IT, .ES) triangular theory of love emerged (not to be confused with Bizarre Love Triangle) and became dominant (w-triang). This theory, illustrated above, holds that “consummate love” is the most complete, as it involves Intimacy, Passion and Commitment. The other types of love involve a combination of only 2 or just one.

The Attachment Theory (w-att) is very important in psychology and it deals with patterns learned in early childhood and how they determine people’s response within relationships when hurt, separated from loved ones or perceiving a threat. Four different attachment classifications have been identified in children: secure attachment, anxious-ambivalent attachment, anxious-avoidant attachment, and disorganized attachment.

If you can imagine the central point of the triangular theory – consummate love – being elevated (through the power of love, of course) out of its planar complacency to a pyramidal vertex and what do you get? Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, of course! :)

Purple haze all around
Don't know if I'm comin' up or down
Am I happy or in misery?
Whatever it is, that girl put a spell on me

Purple haze is not to be confused with Purple Rain.

LE: Two things: I know about the "languages of love" and I think it's BS - the main idea being that most women prefer "words", while men, actions, so there goes that "theory" and secondly, Hendrix probably talks about love as an excuse for getting high with "illegal dreams" which is not my thing.

Sources / More info: inbo-jealous, w-4l, w-gw4l, w-triang, w-att, w-rolo, w-losty, hsf-gdisa

Il citam nu demult pe Bendeac, care zicea c-a-nvatat "cum se face" de la Rocco. Eu am invatat de la mai multi, si-n special de la micul Prince. E usor sa fii sexy cand esti inalt, frumushal si o ai mare, functionala si-ti ia cel putin 1h sa termini. Ce te faci cand nu?

Sanatatea romaneasca a fost dintotdeauna la pamant. Probabil ca unul din motivele principale are de a face cu cateva tare culturale pe care le vom examina in curand, cat si cu faptul ca suntem, ca medie generala, niste tampiti.

Nu m-am dus la festival decat la cateva filme. M-am gandit sa scriu despre ele acum, cat sunt inca fresh si chiar sa prezint cateva shorts (scurt-metraje) intr-o colectie.

Am chef sa povestesc un moment care mi-a placut. Ar fi prea pretentios sa-i spun poezie, haiku n-are sanse sa fie, dar parca nici articol sau eseu nu-i pot zice. Am sa-i spun haicuzamo.

Ioan Pop, the priest with the All Saints Romanian Orthodox Church was just charged with sexual assault at church. Apparently, a woman barely escaped only after a couple walked in on what was going on.

Intai a venit cineva din blogroll care-mi tot ingropa articolele pe agregatoarele de stiri cu leapsa cu 7 cantece. P-orma Gogu de la Blogu' lu' Gogu arunca si el leapsa asta in directia mea (1). Si cand 2 iti zic sa canti, apuca-te bade, si scrie!

Un ziar local din Pennsylvania descrie pe cateva pagini, in amanuntime, povestea unui preot imigrant. Daca ei pot atat, pot si eu cateva paragrafe, nu?

ATENTIE! Aceasta este versiunea veche a FAQ-ului - cea noua in pagina.
A venit momentul sa astern pe ecran gandurile pe care le am in legatura cu acest blog. Sunt haotice, asa ca vom incerca sa bagam putina ordine-n dezordine si voi prezenta totul sub forma de FAQ = lista de intrebari care au fost sau ar putea fi adresate frecvent, fervent, efervescent.

It's a sad day for Ioan Pop, his family, and Romanian Christian Orthodoxy in general, but on the bright side, the abused women are finally getting some closure and Ioan Pop won’t have a chance to repeat his weird brand of sexual religiosity. As usual, I am not content with only reporting on the news; I have a few other things to say.

Anul trecut publicam colindele cantate de corul lui Dan Petrescu la Concertul de Craciun al Clubului Studentilor Romani la Victoria Chappel. Anul asta, voi canta eu ceva .

My resolve to stop speaking about the difference between Roma / Gypsies and Romanians was recently shaken by an Irish couple, one of whom had a Roma sister adopted from Romania.

Nu pot reda intreaga Oda a lui Wordsworth, dar voi reda cel mai cunoscut pasaj si-ti voi povesti despre Splendoare in Iarba, filmul lui Kazan. Daca preferi ceva mai scurt dar in intregime, incearca episodul precedent, despre Cummings.

Acum cativa ani buni - cand Connex mai exista inca sub acest nume - o pitzi corporata cu multe verde si Connex pe piept m-a cadorisit c-un dictionar. Si m-am gandit sa-l impart cu voi, ca-i fain si nu l-am mai gasit si-alt undeva.

Cateodata  am chef sa ma uit la clipuri de muzica, dar nu orice. Cele mai tari, cele mai populare, cele mai vizionate si top of the charts nu ma reprezinta intotdeauna, nu-mi regasesc gusturile in ele. Iata de ce aceste 40-45 clipuri ma incanta – raman cu tine o vreme..