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The way I experience love, or at least what most people mean by it, is dumb and I haze it. I get jealous, obsessive, cheesy. This kind of love is not enjoyable for me, likely not for the other and I try to avoid it, yet this is the kind most girls I had dated in the past seemed to want.

As expected, we owe most of our understanding of love to the Greeks, who were collecting words to describe it. Some scholars prefer to talk about four kinds, others five, others seven and some go as high as thirty. Here are the most used Greek terms:

• Storge (family affection)
• Philia (brotherly love, co-workers, soldiers, shared goal)
• Eros (romance, passion, desire, sex, physical, strange)
• Agape (god-love – unconditional, self-sacrificing)
• Ludus (flirting, playful, euphoria, uncommitted, non-punctual, believable lies, lovefool)
• Pragma (mutually beneficial, enduring – e.g., marriage)
• Mania (obsessive or possessive; adolescence)
• Philautia (self-respect)

Hendrick^2 & Slapion-Foote^2 (1985) found (hsf-gdisa) that men were more likely to show the ludic type of love, while women were more likely to be storgic or pragmatic – though their research was done on undergrad students.

Purple haze all in my brain
Lately things don't seem the same
Actin' funny but I don't know why
'Scuse me while I kiss the sky

In his 1973 book (.CA, .UK, .FR, .DE, .IT, .ES), John Lee compared styles of love to the color wheel, basing them on the aforementioned Greek words.

Lee’s 6 Styles of Loving

• Three primary styles:
  1. Eros – Loving an ideal person
  2. Ludos – Love as a game
  3. Storge – Love as friendship
• Three secondary styles:
  1. Mania (Eros + Ludos) – Obsessive love
  2. Pragma (Ludos + Storge) – Realistic and practical love
  3. Agape (Eros + Storge) – Selfless love

Now that we have the basic vocabulary, we should also know that there are a few theories of love.

theories

In general, theories moved from a clinical standpoint to a more psychology and socially-based stance.

• Freud’s theory of love centered around the need for an “ego ideal”, which is the person one aspires to be, patterned after those whom one holds in great respect. (On Narcissism, Bourdieu-Lacan, Freud-Lacan)
• Maslow takes the view that only those at the top of his pyramid (self-actualized) are capable of love (Heylighen, Francis). 
• Reik conceptualized a more altruistic, agape type of love in Being love. (Amir, Mathes)
• Zick Rubin proposed that romantic love is based on three elements: attachment (the need to receive care, approval and physical contact), caring (valuing the other person’s needs and happiness as much as your own), intimacy (sharing of thoughts, desires etc). Based on questionnaires, he determined liking vs loving.
• Elaine Hatfield felt that compassionate love is characterized by mutual respect, attachment, affection and trust while passionate love is made of intense emotions, sexual attraction, anxiety and affection. According to her, passionate love is transitory, lasting 6-30 months and it arises when cultural expectations encourage falling in love, when the person meets your preconceived ideas of an ideal love, and when you experience heightened physiological arousal in the presence of the other person. It ideally leads to compassionate love.
• As psychology became more socially based, Sternberg’s (.CA, .UK, .FR, .DE, .IT, .ES) triangular theory of love emerged (not to be confused with Bizarre Love Triangle) and became dominant (w-triang). This theory, illustrated above, holds that “consummate love” is the most complete, as it involves Intimacy, Passion and Commitment. The other types of love involve a combination of only 2 or just one.

The Attachment Theory (w-att) is very important in psychology and it deals with patterns learned in early childhood and how they determine people’s response within relationships when hurt, separated from loved ones or perceiving a threat. Four different attachment classifications have been identified in children: secure attachment, anxious-ambivalent attachment, anxious-avoidant attachment, and disorganized attachment.

If you can imagine the central point of the triangular theory – consummate love – being elevated (through the power of love, of course) out of its planar complacency to a pyramidal vertex and what do you get? Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, of course! :)

Purple haze all around
Don't know if I'm comin' up or down
Am I happy or in misery?
Whatever it is, that girl put a spell on me

Purple haze is not to be confused with Purple Rain.

LE: Two things: I know about the "languages of love" and I think it's BS - the main idea being that most women prefer "words", while men, actions, so there goes that "theory" and secondly, Hendrix probably talks about love as an excuse for getting high with "illegal dreams" which is not my thing.

Sources / More info: inbo-jealous, w-4l, w-gw4l, w-triang, w-att, w-rolo, w-losty, hsf-gdisa

De cateva zile, ma tot impiedic de stiri legate de un sofer de TIR roman care danseaza la volan. Prilej sa ne uitam nitel la cultura auto care l-a nascut pe Tarzan-ul nostru. Si sa uram doamnelor “La Multi Ani”.

In a recently published article on Euronews (en-roadfat), Alice Tidey asks the question where in Europe are roads deadliest; the answer is posted even before the question: Romania. We decipher a recent “ProTV News” news segment (spt-victime) where Titi Aur, a “defensive driving instructor”, reveals a deeply seated murderous misunderstanding in terms of the rules of the road, a misunderstanding that he shares.

O prietena a pus pe feisbuc o poza cu fetita ei. Ieri am avut o chiriasa prospectiva care m-a scos din sarite, cu copil, si-ncerc sa conectez cumva cele doua evenimente, intrucat reactiile mele sunt moderate de acelasi filon de ganduri.

If you follow Romanian news, you mustn’t have missed how Victor Ponta, the current Romanian prime-minister, leader of the most popular (and also crypto-communist) PSD party and the most likely winner of the upcoming presidential race, launched his candidacy, on his birthday, on a stadium.

Mircea din Trilema face ce face si iar ma provoaca la un subekt de discutie pe care vroiam sa-l atac eventual, dar n-am avut timp, iar acum n-am incotro.

It’s been a while since we haven’t talked about poverty in Romania and solutions. A recent “debate” caused by an over-the-top article on not giving money to the poor gives us a chance to look at it again and also address our reticence with BDSM practices.

Am descoperit recent un joc care mi-a placut. Si m-am gandit sa-l impart cu oamenii care-mi plac!

In caz ca nu stii ce-nseamna „per pedes“, da-mi voie sa-ti explic, folosind wikipedia germana. Zice ea: (deutsch: zu Fuß) ist eine lateinische Redewendung für „zu Fuß gehen“. Es stammt vom Ausspruch per pedes apostolorum (zu Deutsch in etwa „zu Fuß wie die Apostel“), der vom Aussendungsauftrag Jesu herrührt.

:) see update at the bottom :) Sunt cam nemultumit de cum se prezinta acest site. Evident, continutul este primordial, totusi nu este sau nu ar trebui sa fie imposibil sa imbunatatim prezentarea in paralel cu dezvoltarea continutului.

I have two votes coming up - one for Toronto, Canada (Oct 27), two for Romania (Nov 2, 16). And as usual, I will make a serious effort to vote - I won't wait in line 10 hours, for instance, but I will give it a couple of hours of my time. I thought I go through the possible candidates for election and why I (mostly) won't vote for them.

Cum vinzi o Dacie? Am cautat video footage pentru ca doream sa fac un mic filmulet din Rugamintea unui Dac a lui Geo Bogza si nu vroiam sa bag fatau' mio ca fundal. Ocazie cu care am descoperit o gramada de reclame pentru Dacia si m-am gandit ca nu-s singurul care nu vazuse nici una dintre ele..

Aflu ca un cimpanzeu star de cinema a luat-o razna. A fost eventual ucis, dar aici ne vom uita la povestea din spatele povestii.

Andrei Plesu, cel mai indragit elitist din lume, participa acum cativa ani la o masa de forma geometrica vaga si nedeclarata, intre rotunda si ovala, organizata de Adevarul, ocazie cu care vorbeste despre o chestie ce demult il deranjeaza: ura vulgului pentru elite.

Ma bate de mai multa vreme gandul sa scriu un articol despre politica in general si-n special despre stanga – dreapta. Evident, ideal ar fi fost sa-l fi scris cu mult inainte de alegeri, dar n-a fost sa fie. Asa ca incep cu prima parte, care-i mai simpla: creieru’ (in general, nu al tau sau al meu).

Incercarea de a comanda o carte romaneasca de la “librariile onlain” mi-a aprins niste beculete de ciuda si inovatie. As fi vrut sa pot comanda cartea Nelinistitului, dar in format electronic, ori asta nu-i posibil. Voi explica asadar cum vad eu viitorul cartii romanesti si care ar fi modul ideal de a-mi vinde ceea ce vreau sa cumpar.

Citeam recent ca unii au frica de moarte. Si nu e bine. Si invata de la Google ca totusi nu-i asa de rau. Si m-am uitat si eu, si-am gasit nu numai despre frica de moarte, dar si niste poezii soresciene.

Incepusem sa zac in articolul precedent despre IVF, da' n-am agiuns acolo, c-am luat-o pe tnagenta. Asa ca ma esprim ici-sha, si mai bat campii si despre educatie, libertarieni si privatizarea scolilor. Nu mult, o târa.

This is an article I started a while back as the continuation of another, but abandoned before completion. The article no longer reflected my feelings, it seemed exaggerated and somewhat hysterical. I rediscovered it recently, as I needed a reference buried in it.

Anumite platforme de bloage, cum ar fi WP, au asa-zise "plugin-uri" care arata cititorului articole similare. Si cum orice se poate face oriunde, in mod sigur asta poate fi implementata si pe blogger / blogspot.