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The way I experience love, or at least what most people mean by it, is dumb and I haze it. I get jealous, obsessive, cheesy. This kind of love is not enjoyable for me, likely not for the other and I try to avoid it, yet this is the kind most girls I had dated in the past seemed to want.

As expected, we owe most of our understanding of love to the Greeks, who were collecting words to describe it. Some scholars prefer to talk about four kinds, others five, others seven and some go as high as thirty. Here are the most used Greek terms:

• Storge (family affection)
• Philia (brotherly love, co-workers, soldiers, shared goal)
• Eros (romance, passion, desire, sex, physical, strange)
• Agape (god-love – unconditional, self-sacrificing)
• Ludus (flirting, playful, euphoria, uncommitted, non-punctual, believable lies, lovefool)
• Pragma (mutually beneficial, enduring – e.g., marriage)
• Mania (obsessive or possessive; adolescence)
• Philautia (self-respect)

Hendrick^2 & Slapion-Foote^2 (1985) found (hsf-gdisa) that men were more likely to show the ludic type of love, while women were more likely to be storgic or pragmatic – though their research was done on undergrad students.

Purple haze all in my brain
Lately things don't seem the same
Actin' funny but I don't know why
'Scuse me while I kiss the sky

In his 1973 book (.CA, .UK, .FR, .DE, .IT, .ES), John Lee compared styles of love to the color wheel, basing them on the aforementioned Greek words.

Lee’s 6 Styles of Loving

• Three primary styles:
  1. Eros – Loving an ideal person
  2. Ludos – Love as a game
  3. Storge – Love as friendship
• Three secondary styles:
  1. Mania (Eros + Ludos) – Obsessive love
  2. Pragma (Ludos + Storge) – Realistic and practical love
  3. Agape (Eros + Storge) – Selfless love

Now that we have the basic vocabulary, we should also know that there are a few theories of love.

theories

In general, theories moved from a clinical standpoint to a more psychology and socially-based stance.

• Freud’s theory of love centered around the need for an “ego ideal”, which is the person one aspires to be, patterned after those whom one holds in great respect. (On Narcissism, Bourdieu-Lacan, Freud-Lacan)
• Maslow takes the view that only those at the top of his pyramid (self-actualized) are capable of love (Heylighen, Francis). 
• Reik conceptualized a more altruistic, agape type of love in Being love. (Amir, Mathes)
• Zick Rubin proposed that romantic love is based on three elements: attachment (the need to receive care, approval and physical contact), caring (valuing the other person’s needs and happiness as much as your own), intimacy (sharing of thoughts, desires etc). Based on questionnaires, he determined liking vs loving.
• Elaine Hatfield felt that compassionate love is characterized by mutual respect, attachment, affection and trust while passionate love is made of intense emotions, sexual attraction, anxiety and affection. According to her, passionate love is transitory, lasting 6-30 months and it arises when cultural expectations encourage falling in love, when the person meets your preconceived ideas of an ideal love, and when you experience heightened physiological arousal in the presence of the other person. It ideally leads to compassionate love.
• As psychology became more socially based, Sternberg’s (.CA, .UK, .FR, .DE, .IT, .ES) triangular theory of love emerged (not to be confused with Bizarre Love Triangle) and became dominant (w-triang). This theory, illustrated above, holds that “consummate love” is the most complete, as it involves Intimacy, Passion and Commitment. The other types of love involve a combination of only 2 or just one.

The Attachment Theory (w-att) is very important in psychology and it deals with patterns learned in early childhood and how they determine people’s response within relationships when hurt, separated from loved ones or perceiving a threat. Four different attachment classifications have been identified in children: secure attachment, anxious-ambivalent attachment, anxious-avoidant attachment, and disorganized attachment.

If you can imagine the central point of the triangular theory – consummate love – being elevated (through the power of love, of course) out of its planar complacency to a pyramidal vertex and what do you get? Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, of course! :)

Purple haze all around
Don't know if I'm comin' up or down
Am I happy or in misery?
Whatever it is, that girl put a spell on me

Purple haze is not to be confused with Purple Rain.

LE: Two things: I know about the "languages of love" and I think it's BS - the main idea being that most women prefer "words", while men, actions, so there goes that "theory" and secondly, Hendrix probably talks about love as an excuse for getting high with "illegal dreams" which is not my thing.

Sources / More info: inbo-jealous, w-4l, w-gw4l, w-triang, w-att, w-rolo, w-losty, hsf-gdisa

In trying to answer the map question, it might be a good idea to stat with some Dacian history. Presumably, after Trajan conquered Dacia, the men were massacred or enslaved and the Dacian state including its capital, Sarmizegetusa, obliterated then rebuilt in Roman fashion.

Azi e ziua patriei, dar cum ii spuneam lui Krossfire intr-un comentariu, prefer o zi rationala uneia nationale. Oricum, el explica tare bine cam tot ce-i de explicat, iar eu n-as putea decat sa repet urarea veche. Continui aici discutia emotie vs. logica, inceputa in prima parte cu Colbert si Adeveria.

Some recent Romanian news led me to consider the possibility that many Romanian men suffer from an undiagnosed affliction: Uterus envy. Let us together discover what that means, and how this was already named “womb envy” by a psychoanalyst named HORNEY.

Suntem noi genetic in acelasi grup cu bulgarii si cu turcii? Andrada Daciana pare sa creada ca National Geographic sustine asta, si mai mult decat atat, ca gresesc si ca noi ar trebui sa le trimitem scrisori de ura si amenintare!

In a recent (semi-)transatlantic flight, while reading the airline magazine, I stumbled upon a bit on courage and machismo, which contrasted sharply with Andre Gide’s preface to an Antoine de Saint-Exupery (you know, the guy who wrote Le Petit Prince) book I was also (re)-reading. Let me present it for you.

I recently got an article from our very own Blegoo, who wanted to see his thoughts published and critiqued around here. It required serious formatting, but I thought it’s a free service I can provide to the second highest commenter (in terms of quantity) on this blog. My comments will be highlighted inline and concentrated at the end. 

Am facut prostia sa trimit unor prieteni un link catre un articol de-al lui Radu de Craciun, gandindu-ma ca aberatiile lui vor fi oarecum amuzante. Citind apoi ce-am trimis, am remarcat ca se-apropia teribil de intim de realitate, nascand complicatii.

Il citam nu demult pe Bendeac, care zicea c-a-nvatat "cum se face" de la Rocco. Eu am invatat de la mai multi, si-n special de la micul Prince. E usor sa fii sexy cand esti inalt, frumushal si o ai mare, functionala si-ti ia cel putin 1h sa termini. Ce te faci cand nu?

This is another one of the stories I’ve postponed telling because it’s not easy and I had yet to feel “inspired”; then again, this blog is getting old and I’ve given myself yet another deadline to tell the stories that are important, inspired or not.

In primul episod am inceput cu neuroplasticitatea si acum ajung la Csikszentmihalyi si a sa "state of flow" sau stare de curgere. Nimic altceva decat o Nirvana a productivitatii, sau starea inefabila in care munca se scurge silentios si fara frecare, de la sine.

Recently, on the WhatsApp group I share with my former classmates, one of us posted an article about Soros. I don’t know exactly why he did so – there’s a small chance he shared it because it’s such a dumb article that it’s funny, but this is a good opportunity to look at the mythology created around the boogeyman Soros. As it happens, this article would be best written in Romanian, as anyone capable to follow an article in English has already made up her mind, which is why a summary in Romanian will soon follow.

Cine este proponentul "comportamentalismului radical" si de ce ne-ar pasa de el? Eu cred ca munca "celui mai influent psiholog al secolului 20", desi controversata, este antidotul perfect pentru determinismul genetic ce pare sa controleze "gandirea" romaneasca.

The most important debating tournament in Romania took place at the “Mihai Viteazu” high-school and the reporter summarized a debate with a BIRT on whether the Romanian government should provide reparations to the Roma community for the Holocaust. This is worth a discussion.

I’ve recently noticed a tweet that seems to indicate the Romanians are 3rd among EU countries least happy with free movement in Europe. That’s remarkable. Why would that be?

Unlike most of my Romanian friends, who are angered by the details of the 112/police (EMS) response to Alexandra Macesanu’s increasingly desperate calls, I am far more upset by police colonel, university professor and forensic psychologist Tudorel Badea Butoi-Severin and the inconsequential censure by CNCD following his deeply offensive, misogynistic, victim-blaming comments. I believe that the hostility and inadequacy of the police response is rooted in the attitude that Prof Butoi has expressed and this bigotry is the root cause of police inaction and incompetence.

"Little birds" is the English mot-a-mot translation of bijboace, clampacioace, fofoloance. Just the other day, a Latvian friend visited me and brought me as a gift some candy from her native country. And as she explained laughing and blushing, the candy name had a dual meaning.

Ce poate fi mai existential decat aceste doua subiecte? Tratarea lor in doua filme superbe, filme care mi-au marcat dezvoltarea psiho-sexuala.

My reservations notwithstanding, I suspect most of the people who voted for Iohannis do not really know who he is, apart from the fact that he is not Ponta. I'm trying to bring a bit more color and background to his wooden personality.

Exista o gramada de copaci in constiinta noastra colectiva, incepand cu Gorunul lui Horea, Stejarul lui Baiesu/Pintilie, Palmieru’ lu’ vanGhelie, Bonsaiu’ lu’ Nastase. Alti oameni mari n-aveau un copac anume. Tepes, de pilda, lua orice copac cata vreme nu se rupea usor si era ascutit in varf (bradul, pinul si moliftul?).