Showing posts sorted by date for query relationships. Sort by relevance Show all posts

I noticed recently how the mere mention of Birchall, in a positive manner, by President Iohannis, has caused backlash in PSD and there is even talk of excluding her from that rapidly disintegrating party. One could say that he likes her, but is he just mouthing it? To me, this is symbolic of PNL encroaching in PSD’s home turf and, in some instances, replacing it.

Hotnews has previously interviewed Romanian diaspora people, which we covered, and we have also been profiling others in the diaspora ourselves. This interview is somewhat new in that the interviewee is "returned" - and we expect to be many more like him in the coming years.

In a significant development, the full transcript of the 112 calls by the last victim, Alexandra Măceșanu, has been published. It is unclear to me if these are the official transcripts or rather what some of those who have listened may have remembered or clandestinely recorded. I do not expect that the official transcripts are any different and I am publishing them along with the censured victim-blaming comments made in 2010 by Tudorel Butoi, who continues to provide his “expert opinion” in TV shows.

A while back, I was having an argument (well, it’s more like I was trying to have a conversation with my designated troll, banned since) about the downside of population decline (PD). He demanded to know why is it bad (which is what I was trying to say) and I thought I provided some studies, but while searching, I was unsatisfied with the quality of the studies I had found. (The title term refers mostly to economy (i.e., population drops below the level required to carry the economy or more specifically old age pensions) whereas PD refers to demographics.) Since then, I’ve found a bit more so here it is.

After repeating what’s (still) irking me about #corruption and the way it’s tackled and perceived, I get to summarize the events of the past few days (since Executive Order / Ordinance 13) and provide you with my much unwanted and unneeded opinion.

It’s been a while since we haven’t talked about poverty in Romania and solutions. A recent “debate” caused by an over-the-top article on not giving money to the poor gives us a chance to look at it again and also address our reticence with BDSM practices.

The way I experience love, or at least what most people mean by it, is dumb and I haze it. I get jealous, obsessive, cheesy. This kind of love is not enjoyable for me, likely not for the other and I try to avoid it, yet this is the kind most girls I had dated in the past seemed to want.

As expected, we owe most of our understanding of love to the Greeks, who were collecting words to describe it. Some scholars prefer to talk about four kinds, others five, others seven and some go as high as thirty. Here are the most used Greek terms:

• Storge (family affection)
• Philia (brotherly love, co-workers, soldiers, shared goal)
• Eros (romance, passion, desire, sex, physical, strange)
• Agape (god-love – unconditional, self-sacrificing)
• Ludus (flirting, playful, euphoria, uncommitted, non-punctual, believable lies, lovefool)
• Pragma (mutually beneficial, enduring – e.g., marriage)
• Mania (obsessive or possessive; adolescence)
• Philautia (self-respect)

Hendrick^2 & Slapion-Foote^2 (1985) found (hsf-gdisa) that men were more likely to show the ludic type of love, while women were more likely to be storgic or pragmatic – though their research was done on undergrad students.

Purple haze all in my brain
Lately things don't seem the same
Actin' funny but I don't know why
'Scuse me while I kiss the sky

In his 1973 book (.CA, .UK, .FR, .DE, .IT, .ES), John Lee compared styles of love to the color wheel, basing them on the aforementioned Greek words.

Lee’s 6 Styles of Loving

• Three primary styles:
  1. Eros – Loving an ideal person
  2. Ludos – Love as a game
  3. Storge – Love as friendship
• Three secondary styles:
  1. Mania (Eros + Ludos) – Obsessive love
  2. Pragma (Ludos + Storge) – Realistic and practical love
  3. Agape (Eros + Storge) – Selfless love

Now that we have the basic vocabulary, we should also know that there are a few theories of love.

theories

In general, theories moved from a clinical standpoint to a more psychology and socially-based stance.

• Freud’s theory of love centered around the need for an “ego ideal”, which is the person one aspires to be, patterned after those whom one holds in great respect. (On Narcissism, Bourdieu-Lacan, Freud-Lacan)
• Maslow takes the view that only those at the top of his pyramid (self-actualized) are capable of love (Heylighen, Francis). 
• Reik conceptualized a more altruistic, agape type of love in Being love. (Amir, Mathes)
• Zick Rubin proposed that romantic love is based on three elements: attachment (the need to receive care, approval and physical contact), caring (valuing the other person’s needs and happiness as much as your own), intimacy (sharing of thoughts, desires etc). Based on questionnaires, he determined liking vs loving.
• Elaine Hatfield felt that compassionate love is characterized by mutual respect, attachment, affection and trust while passionate love is made of intense emotions, sexual attraction, anxiety and affection. According to her, passionate love is transitory, lasting 6-30 months and it arises when cultural expectations encourage falling in love, when the person meets your preconceived ideas of an ideal love, and when you experience heightened physiological arousal in the presence of the other person. It ideally leads to compassionate love.
• As psychology became more socially based, Sternberg’s (.CA, .UK, .FR, .DE, .IT, .ES) triangular theory of love emerged (not to be confused with Bizarre Love Triangle) and became dominant (w-triang). This theory, illustrated above, holds that “consummate love” is the most complete, as it involves Intimacy, Passion and Commitment. The other types of love involve a combination of only 2 or just one.

The Attachment Theory (w-att) is very important in psychology and it deals with patterns learned in early childhood and how they determine people’s response within relationships when hurt, separated from loved ones or perceiving a threat. Four different attachment classifications have been identified in children: secure attachment, anxious-ambivalent attachment, anxious-avoidant attachment, and disorganized attachment.

If you can imagine the central point of the triangular theory – consummate love – being elevated (through the power of love, of course) out of its planar complacency to a pyramidal vertex and what do you get? Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, of course! :)

Purple haze all around
Don't know if I'm comin' up or down
Am I happy or in misery?
Whatever it is, that girl put a spell on me

Purple haze is not to be confused with Purple Rain.

LE: Two things: I know about the "languages of love" and I think it's BS - the main idea being that most women prefer "words", while men, actions, so there goes that "theory" and secondly, Hendrix probably talks about love as an excuse for getting high with "illegal dreams" which is not my thing.

Sources / More info: inbo-jealous, w-4l, w-gw4l, w-triang, w-att, w-rolo, w-losty, hsf-gdisa

Some recent Romanian news led me to consider the possibility that many Romanian men suffer from an undiagnosed affliction: Uterus envy. Let us together discover what that means, and how this was already named “womb envy” by a psychoanalyst named HORNEY.

There was a time when women were dreaming of a “knight in shining armour” but a steady decline in the prestige of shiny things coupled with a long set of economic crises have put an end to those romantic times. Today women seem to want a man who’ll pay and they rely on the State for protection and Facebook and/or Twitter for DIY reputation management (aka PR). A recent article on dating and paying for it (ctch-tspr) reopened a long-forgotten subject, a subject I haven't attacked in a while (since between 12 and 12-B, to be exact), despite a desire and even a plan to do so.

After introducing the reader to a Tutea-like blogger (but without the mandibular shaking, and as a blogger, he writes rather than talks), today I was going to continue the cycle of Alexic Danopathy, as promised. Recently, National Geographic has written at length about Trajan’s Column (research first covered a few months ago), and surprisingly, Alexic Danopathy “scholarship” and research is nowhere to be found there. There’s more to be said, but I got sidetracked by his conversation with someone he calls Tartina Lol (caba-tl). 

I’ve two heavy things on my mind right now, and unlike WhatsApp frustrations, I don't think I'll be able to balance them with some happier, care-free thoughts. The second part of the title was inspired by a comment left by Blegoo about a year ago.

Not only did Klaus Iohannis manage to snatch victory from the claws of the Red Menace, but he did so by a huge, devastating margin AND on the surge in voter participation not only in the diaspora, but also in our birthplace. It’s a November Christmas miracle! 

A rather popular essay these days is Don't date a girl who travels (link in Sources). Some would use the word "viral" but I'm a mysophobe (aka germaphob) when it comes to travel.

I hesitated for one day before writing this article and telling you this story. Maybe that's cuz here in Canada we went back to regular time, "losing" one hour.

I really don’t have the time for this, but yet again, someone on the internets is wrong.

With all the March 8th celebrations, I got this idea about writing an article about each important woman in my life, starting with early childhood or as far as my memories go. That would take a while.

A weight trainer has gained weight only to lose it. His weight pinnacle was achieved on November 5 and since then it’s been dropping rapidly. Yet some fatties won’t even accept a sendup to that blog – they take it as an insult.

Rar se mai intampla zilele astea sa primesc spam care sa treaca de filtrele gmail. Cand se-ntampla, e prilej de sarbatoare. Sa analizam, asadar.

Diferentele dintre sexe in modul cum percepem "fidelitatea" si mai ales in asteptarile noastre de la celalalt sau cealalta comparativ cu ceea ce le oferim imi par fascinante.

Citesc ca peste 70% din parintii romani isi bat copiii, unii pana la moarte. Nu s-au facut studii, dar inclin sa cred ca un procent mult mai mic isi circumcid fetele. Parintii romani par sa prefere pruncuciderea cirmcumciziei.